


Being kidnapped is kind of a date, right?

by Menatiera



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Kidnapped Bucky Barnes, Kidnapped Tony Stark, Kidnapping, M/M, Pepper Potts is Rescue (literally), Rescue, attempted rescue, kidnapped together, the boys don't need rescue at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29131314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menatiera/pseuds/Menatiera
Summary: Tony and Bucky don't need to berescued,people should know that by now.*Tony and Bucky are being kidnapped from their date night. They complain a lot, not necessarily about the kidnapping itself. Pepper doesn't have the patience for this, and the poor kidnappers didn't consent to any of this.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 166
Collections: Winteriron Winter Stockings 2020





	Being kidnapped is kind of a date, right?

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Kimmy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy) in the [winteriron_winter_stockings_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/winteriron_winter_stockings_2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**  
>  a) Kidnapped together.  
> Thanks for the amazing cpt_winnithepooh (Winnie) for the brainstorming, support and last-minute cheer-reading!
> 
> Kimmy, I hope you'll enjoy this little one-shot. If you're okay with it, I'd like to use it as bingo fill for TSB A4 - Crack and BBB Flash Bingo.

“This is embarrassing,” Bucky complained.

“Relax,” Tony said.

“I’m relaxed, but I’m also embarrassed.”

Tony looked over at him. He indeed didn’t seem particularly stressed - he flexed his muscles from time to time in an attempt to break his restraints, but whatever material or technology their captors used held up against supersoldier strength. The metal arm was no help because since the cuff was put on, it was a dead weight on Bucky, not moving and not reacting. It was probably the better option, Tony concluded, as opposed to torture. 

When they first regained their consciousness after being drugged to hell and back, Bucky was close to panicking, sure that Hydra had found a way to get him back to their clutch.

Ever since it turned out that it  _ wasn’t _ Hydra who held them, Bucky calmed down and took everything in stride, opting to look the bright side of the situation. Tony highly approved, because having to deal with a panicking Winter Soldier was not among the ideal evening activities Tony had looked forward to.

Of course, he hadn’t really expected to be kidnapped either, but he was flexible when it came to bonding (ha-ha) experiences. The date he’d planned with Bucky - wine and dine at a good restaurant, walking home through the city looking at the early Christmas lights, maybe watching a movie at home or going straight to bed - would’ve been way better, but they were still spending the evening (night?) together, and with his busy schedule he couldn’t exactly be picky.

“Why exactly is it so embarrassing?” Tony asked instead of voicing his thoughts, which he figured Bucky wouldn’t appreciate.

“I should be your knight in shining armor, I should rescue us,” Bucky grumbled, “instead I’m sitting here and getting a crank in my back and can’t get out of these cuffs. Which means we’ll be saved, by Steve or Nat, or worse, by  _ Clint _ , and we’ll  _ never _ get to hear the end of that.”

“Fair point to the latter,” Tony agreed and shuddered at the thought of Clint finding them before they could get out on their own. Clint’s humor had an edge on good days, too, but giving him ammunition like this, and he’d be lethal with his jokes. “Though I must point out, it’s usually me who’s the knight in the shining armor.”

“I don’t see your suiting up,” Bucky pointed out.

“Yet,” Tony shrugged. He meant that, but since Bucky wasn’t distressed by their situation much, he didn’t need to underline it more than this. They were probably listened to anyway.

They remained quiet for a few seconds.

“If it’ll be Nat, I bet she’ll make us do escape practices in the next three months,” Tony mused, and Bucky groaned in agreement.

Every new recruit thought that Cap was the one who had a knack for rigorous training sessions. Those people regularly forgot that Steve, back in those days, won a war with about six months of basic training and getting any additional one only here and there between missions. Steve was a firm believer of improvisation, survival skills, and doing the best with what you had at hand, and while he was eager for his team to have good knowledge and training on various skills and topics, he didn’t count it as a be-all, end-all method of skill development.

Natasha, on the other hand. Natasha had spent the first sixteen years of his life in a rigorous assassin training camp where failure usually meant death. Natasha was very much a  _ fanatic _ when it came to training, and unfortunately, Steve didn’t discourage her mania.

Natasha was capable of breaking a man with her pinky in a second, but she rather preferred to do it slowly over the course of several different training weeks she planned to be extra cruel and extra extensive for their needs.

“Nah, maybe Steve would be the worst,” Bucky said, thoughtful. “He’d probably cry.”

They both shuddered.

“Well, it’s you, so there’s a good chance for that,” Tony had to agree. Steve of course would mow down the kidnappers first, but once he’d be done with that part of the op, Tesla knows only how fast he’d break down for  _ ‘failing Bucky again’ _ and  _ ‘not protecting his friends’  _ and  _ ‘oh god they could’ve been Hydra’ _ .

All the Avengers had issues. Steve had a guilt complex visible from the Moon, even though Bucky insisted that it was better than Before.

Tony had a hard time believing that.

“Yeah, let’s not wait for that long,” Tony agreed and yawned. “I hope our hosts will get started soon with the program. Starts to get boring to wait around for them.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Am I boring you?” His tone was accusatory.

“I didn’t say that! But you had to admit, the lack of cuddling is a total mood killer. And you’re not exactly the type to entertain me with funny anecdotes and interesting science theories.”

“I bet I could come up with a few to keep you entertained. But only the squeaky wheel gets the grease…”

“Excuse me, I’m not some squeaky wheel, and I did speak up now!”

“By implying that I’m boring.”

“Oh come on, honey, don’t get started now.”

“No, seriously, we were about to go to a restaurant, there wouldn’t have been cuddling there either, only talking. Would that be boring too?” Bucky seemed to get worked up over this, and Tony had none of it.

“Stop that. This whole self-loathing, second-guessing thing you’re starting to get into. You know I wouldn’t have taken you out for dinner if I found it boring.”

“Dinner is about sitting around and talking. We’re sitting around and talking,” Bucky argued.

“Look, if we get food from our captors, I’ll consider this a dinner date. But I have doubts they’d let our hands be free for our snacking desires. Not like I couldn’t take them out with my hands tied behind my back, but I can see why the cuffs make them feel safer.”

“They clearly had no idea that you wear those for fun most of the time,” Bucky finally smiled.

“I prefer the consensual type of them, but yeah, these are not half bad, I must admit. They hold alright.”

“But we keep ours, right?”

There was a loud creak from the hinges.

“If I’m not interrupting,” said a voice from the door, shocking both men into silence. They looked up in alarm to see  _ Pepper _ , of all people, the purple gauntlets of her armor still on her  wrists . “After you’ve traumatized your kidnappers by the topic of discussion, you may want to continue  _ date night _ in a more hospitable environment?”

Tony scoffed. “ _ We _ traumatized them? I won’t pay their shrink bills after they’ve tried  _ to kidnap _ us.”

“Oh come on, of course you will,” Bucky murmured quietly.

“They succeeded in kidnapping you,” Pepper pointed out, crossing her arms. “They failed in the containment part, and honestly, I don’t blame them.”

“Harsh, darling.”

“How are you here?” Bucky interrupted.

“The restaurant  _ still _ has my phone number as Tony’s PA, instead of his boss, so when you didn’t show up to your reservation, I got a call,” Pepper sighed. “I’ve informed them of the change, of course, but I’ll need Jarvis to look through all databases and contact lists to fix this error. I was getting ready for a bath at home. Do you know how rarely I have the luxury of an uninterrupted bubble bath? Chop chop, I don’t have all night for you lovebirds.”

“Pepper, dearest of my heart and savior of my company, I love you, but please don’t expect us to escort you home after you’ve disabled some terrorist cell on your own.”

While he was talking, the nanites from Tony’s chest container ran down on his arm and cracked one of the handcuffs open. Tony raised his arm and waved Pepper away.

Pepper watched it in bafflement. “You were able to do that all this time?”

Bucky snorted. “Of course he was,” he said like it was entirely obvious.

Tony nodded a few times, then put his hand behind his back and left the nanites to repair the cuff.

Pepper sighed and rolled her eyes. “Of course,” she said too, with so much sarcasm in her voice it could make a lesser man flinch. Tony wasn’t a lesser man; he just beamed at her.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your night; I promise I’ll dedicate a whole afternoon to doing paperwork to make up for it. But now I have a date night and a point to prove, so, if you don’t mind…”

Pepper sighed. “Are you okay with this?” she looked at Bucky, and Bucky met her eyes with his eyebrows raised.

“Do I look like I wouldn’t safeword the heck out of it if I weren’t okay with it?” He then looked at his lover. "It won't be the same without fighting our way out," he pouted.

Pepper rubbed her forehead with her gauntleted hand. “Seriously, why do I put up with men all the time. I want my all-female crew,” she murmured mostly to herself. “You know what? I don’t need to know any more. Enjoy your date night, I guess. And Tony, don’t forget to cancel your reservation in a timely manner next time! It’s rude to keep the staff waiting for you!”

“I’ll tip them extra!” Tony shouted the promise after her as Pepper flew out.


End file.
